


We're Looking For Angels in the Darkest of Skies

by DamnedSoulsSingSweet (ADayDreamingDream), LothlanPatronSaintOfHealing



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Was Raphael Before He Fell (Good Omens), Crowley didn't want to fall, Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), M/M, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Prophecies, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), very slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-05-20 23:04:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19386304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADayDreamingDream/pseuds/DamnedSoulsSingSweet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LothlanPatronSaintOfHealing/pseuds/LothlanPatronSaintOfHealing
Summary: They hadn’t been able to switch places but that was okay, Heaven was just going to give Aziraphale a stern talking to. Crowley wasn’t so lucky. Instead of a bath of holy water though the demons got much more creative. Everyone in Hell knows Crowley was Raphael, angel of the cosmos and creation, before he fell and also that he only fell because Lucifer grabbed his arm and dragged him down with them. So, they decided to take the one thing that could pull him back up to the light.For what is an angel without their halo.





	1. The Boy with the Broken Halo

**Author's Note:**

> I might add more to this. It was just a little idea that came to me. Everyone associates angels with their wings but even fallen angels have wings. Only angels that are still holy have halos. I wanted to play on the idea that Crowley clung to his halo even after his fall.
> 
> Edit: I'm writing more and changed the title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lovely beta on this chapter! Say thank you to MegaMindMaze!

Crowley trembled as he curled up in the backseat of his car. He was freezing and sweating at the same time. His whole body ached but nothing hurt more than the brand that now sat running down his spine and spreading out across his upper back. Lucifer had wanted to remind him of what he had started. The first Temptation so they had branded an apple tree across his back as they shattered what little remained of his halo. He hadn’t realized how much warmth the cracked thing had generated. No, not warmth, hope. Because as long as he’d had it in mostly one piece, he’d had hope that he wasn’t truly fallen. That he could, maybe, one day stroll up to those pearly gates with Aziraphale and be allowed back in. The shattered shards were clutched in his hands, cutting into his skin, they were no longer warm with hope, no longer glowing faintly with celestial light. He was now well and truly fallen. 

And he had never had a choice.

He knew if he went to Aziraphale now he would truly start to corrupt the innocence of the angel. The darkness in him was too great for him to control. Sniffling he shuffled into the driver’s seat of his precious Bentley and started her up. She spluttered a bit, probably reacting to his dour emotions. He drove with only one hand, cradling his shattered halo to his chest with his other. He pulled over at the first phone booth he found and dialed the familiar number for the book shop, forcing himself to calm down. Aziraphale answered halfway through the second ring.

“Crowley? Is that you?” The angel asked sounding worried.

“Yeah, angel, it’s me.” Crowley said, his voice rough from his crying but he was proud that it didn’t crack. 

“Oh good. I was worried. We hadn’t been able to enact our plan and all. I already got dragged up into Heaven. Just a stern talking to. Turns out God is a big fan of the Avengers and they are about to come out with a big movie that she just didn’t want to miss so we’re off the hook on our end. How did things in Hell go?” Aziraphale asked, his voice so bright and bubbly it nearly hurt to listen to. Crowley cleared his throat

“Fine. They haven’t called me in, yet. I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s not why I called though. I’m going away for a while. Won’t be in contact much. There are some things I have to work through. Stopping the apocalypse woke some latent demonic abilities in me and I need to sort them out.” Crowley said and there was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone.

“So you won't be able to meet me for our lunches as we planned?” Aziraphale asked sounding hurt. Crowley grit his teeth, anger welling up in him as his back throbbed painfully.

“No, I’m not meeting you for some stupid lunches. I have more important things to worry about.” He snapped before slamming the phone down on the receiver. He regretted his anger almost immediately but couldn’t rewind time to undo his mistake. Cradling the shards carefully he tempted up a silk bag for them to reside in and gently slid them into it. He climbed back into his Bentley and sat in the driver’s seat for a moment before starting her up again and starting off down the street again. He wasn’t sure where to go, he needed somewhere quiet, somewhere remote. He needed somewhere with no people. An idea sprung into his head and he headed towards his apartment. He would have to hire someone to water his plants but that shouldn’t be an issue. He would only be gone for a few years, long enough to get control over his demon energies again. He glanced over to the silk pouch that rested innocently on the passenger seat. There was no going back up now. No pearly gates in his future. He was well and truly fallen.

“No more sauntered slightly downward.” He murmured to himself as he turned his attention back to the road. 


	2. Cause the Only Hell I Know is Without You

Crowley watched the white sleet crash into the thick window. His new home was a bunker deep in the frozen wastelands of Russian Siberia where no one would ever find him. He had already tarnished the thick metal walls with scorch marks and he had only been here a week. There were five rooms in his little self-imposed prison. A barren kitchen, an equally empty open room where he supposed he should have put a couch and made a comfortable living room, a dining room which he had set up like a large terrarium with equally large items for himself to settle on when he was in his snake form and several of his plants from his apartment in London that he had chosen to bring with him, a tiny restroom where he could take freezing showers, and a bedroom that was almost as small as the restroom. He curled up smaller on the thin full-size mattress and pressed his overly hot cheek on the cold glass, wishing for some sort of relief to his predicament. He closed his eyes and could almost imagine that he was curled up in Aziraphale’s apartment above his bookshop waiting for the silly angel to bring him a cup of cocoa while pretending to listen to the other immortal prattle on about some first edition he wanted. His yellow eyes opened and he stared out into the storm that was blowing outside. How had he fallen so far? Was he even worthy of Aziraphale anymore? Would the angel want to bother with him now that he was truly fallen? 

The questions ate at him until he couldn’t stand them spinning around in his head and he needed something to drive them away. The shards of his Halo sat still in their silk bag and he fished one of the larger shards out. He pressed it to his wrist and let it drag through the skin and flesh there, black blood welling up in the cut silencing the fears and worries that had circled around his head for moments. He repeated the process until his mind was empty and then he set the shard back into the bag and tempted the cuts shut. They healed, leaving behind little black scars like charcoal tallies on his pale skin. He would have to be careful when he returned to the civilized world to hide them but it would be just another thing that he hid about himself. Standing he stretched and then shifted into his snake form. It was much larger now, stretching close to twenty feet if he didn’t shrink himself with a temptation, and had a flickering heat that radiated off his scales along with the unnatural lava-like pattern that backlit the black scales. He slithered through the cold empty rooms and slid on top of the large sunbathing rock. The light in this room was a large heating lamp and he let out a soft sigh at its heat. When he was in human form, he was always hot but when he shifted to this form, he never seemed to be able to get warm enough. He let his eyes slide shut and slipped into a light doze telling himself that he would work on his growing power when he woke. He had set himself a goal to have mastered the increase in the power of his temptations and manipulation of hellfire within ten years. He’d be damned a third time if he was gone beyond that. 

 

Aziraphale hadn’t seen or heard from Crowley in close to seven years and it was starting to worry him. They had stopped the apocalypse and Heaven and Hell had seemed to have left them alone but Crowley had sounded…odd when they had last spoken. Aziraphale wished he had paid more attention to his friend at that moment but he had been too caught up in the fact that he had gotten off with a slap on the wrist to notice that his best friend had sounded wrong when he had said he was going away. It hadn’t registered until the next morning what Crowley had said exactly, that stopping the apocalypse had woken sleeping demonic abilities. He had been able to brush it off, thinking it was just a minor power boost and that Crowley would be back soon but the weeks turned into months and then years. Aziraphale was close to going upstairs and asking for a Miracle to locate the missing demon when Anathema walked into his store with Newton beside her.

“What can I do for you?” He asked, trying to add a bright note to his voice.

“Have you seen Crowley recently?” Anathema asked and Aziraphale frowned.

“I have not. Why?” He said and Anathema passed him a slip of paper.

**_November 1, 2019 – Crowley the Greater Demon will kill Gabriel, Archangel of the Lord and then lie to Aziraphale, Angel of the Eastern Gate about it, starting the war between Heaven and Hell on Earth._ **

The card slipped from Aziraphale’s fingers and he stumbled backward to sit in a chair. 

‘Well, that’s only a few months away. It’s already June.” He said and Newton nodded

“We only just discovered this one. It was stuck to the bottom of the box when we burned the rest of them.” He said and Aziraphale let out a soft noise. 

“Crowley isn’t a Greater Demon though, is he? I’ve never asked. There must be more than one Crowley down there, right? It must mean another Crowley.” He said but he knew that he was likely grasping at straws. 

“We need to find Crowley and find a way to keep him from killing Gabriel and starting the war between Heaven and Hell.” Anathema said and Aziraphale frowned

“How would we do that? The only thing that can hurt him are holy objects. What are you going to do, demand that he recites the bible until the first of November passes?” Aziraphale asked and Anathema gave him a look that said she thought he was nuts. 

“Of course not. Would he be able to escape rope that was blessed by a priest?” She asked and Aziraphale’s eyes widened.

“Well no, but that would hurt him something terrible. You can’t do that to him Anathema. What if we showed him this, told him what was going to happen and tried to get him to avoid Gabriel?” Aziraphale said, wringing his hands.

“No! We’re not telling him. There was this one prophecy and we told the person it involved about it.They went mad trying not to make it happen and in doing so they made it happened anyways. We will keep this to ourselves and protect the world. I’m sure Crowley will understand.” Newton said quickly. Anathema nodded and Aziraphale wrung his hands harder. He hoped that wherever Crowley was he was okay and that he returned soon. He really hated not seeing his best friend.

 

Crowley pulled up to the little bookshop that Aziraphale ran. It had been seven years now and he was almost completely in control of his power. The power had left a few more marks on his skin; a patch of black scales on his left side that extended down his hip, nails that were like claws that he couldn’t retract anymore. Little things that made him less than human. It wasn’t a Sunday so the shop should have been open but the door was strangely locked. Crowley frowned and rapt on the frame

“Aziraphale?” He called and his frown only grew when he heard no sound of movement inside. It was July, the weather was dreadfully warm so Crowley decided to drive over to the park and see if his Angel was there making a clandestine meeting with some other Demon. If he was it would make Crowley pissed and he wasn’t sure what he would do to said Demon. Instead of finding his angel meeting with a Demon, he found him sitting on a picnic blanket with two vaguely familiar humans. 

“Crowley? Is that you?” Aziraphale asked, jumping to his feet. Crowley allowed himself to be pulled into a hug before pulling away from the Angel.

“Well, you definitely run warmer than you did before. Come sit. We were just talking about where to go for lunch.” The angel said and Crowley rolled his yellow eyes behind his dark shades. 

“Some things never change with you, Angel.” Crowley said as Aziraphale sat back down on his blanket. The two humans didn’t move and Crowley cocked his head at them.

“I feel like I should know you two. Have we met before?” He asked and the woman let out an affronted noise. 

“It’s nothing against the two of you. It’s just you’ve changed so much. This is Anathema and Newton. They are getting married soon.” Aziraphale said and Anathema muttered something dark under her breath. Crowley snorted.

“I find that I don’t have the time to remember all the humans I meet. Congratulations on the nuptials.” He said and it earned a strange look from Aziraphale. 

“They helped us stop the apocalypse.” The Angel said slowly and Crowley sighed.

“They had a book that helped us stop the apocalypse. I don’t recall them doing much other than getting in the way.” He said. 

“Excuse me?” Anathema snapped and Crowley blinked at her blankly.

“For what?” He asked knowing full well what she meant. Newton grabbed her arm before she could hit him and dragged her off towards the duck pond. A small smile slipped on Crowley’s face.

“That was cruel Crowley, even for you.” Aziraphale said and the small joy that he had gotten from the jab and the cruel words was suddenly gone. 

“You’re right.” He said rubbing at his nose. He felt tired all of a sudden like he had been reading small print for hours. 

“Shall we talk over lunch? We have quite a few years to catch up on and I think giving her a bit of space right now would be a good idea.” Aziraphale said standing and snapping his fingers so that the blanket disappeared. 

“I think a table for two just opened up at the Ritz if I could tempt you.” Crowley said and the angel smiled 

“Consider me tempted.” He said offering his arm. Crowley took it and they ambled down the path looking like a couple to anyone who was watching (which was everyone because everyone was watching everyone). 


	3. Clap if you've got a ticket to the end of the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Crowley learns of a angelic plan, gets in a fight with his angel, and Adam finds the giant pitcher plants that he keeps disturbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has commented so far. I wasn't sure about writing this story but now I've got a groove and ideas and it's all because of you and your support. So thank you, because of you I wrote this while watching the France vs. USA game and spilled Coca-Cola all over my dog so that I didn't spill it on my computer and lose this chapter.

Crowley lit his cigarette with a small flash of hellfire and took an inhale of the sweet sin. It was a special blend of greed and adultery that Beelzebub sent up from hell to him in bulk. Perks of getting the title of a Greater Demon was that people tended to forget past transgressions like stopping an apocalypse. They also tended to get out of the way when you drive your Bentley through the narrow streets of Hell without slowing but that wasn’t really his problem. He stepped out of his car and strode up to the doors of the main office where he had been supposed to give a report four hours ago. Instead, he had taken Aziraphale out to a long lunch and then gone to see a movie by himself. Little rebellions were his modus operandi and no one but Lucifer called him out on it. Lucifer didn’t bother anymore because it wasn’t worth the fight. 

It turned out, being one of the most powerful angels in Heaven before the Fall translated to being one of the most powerful demons in Hell. Lucifer might be the king of Hell but Crowley would give him a run for his money if he so desired and the king knew it. 

“Beelzebub is waiting for you.” An imp said quickly as Crowley strode by. Crowley grunted and flicked some ash at it but didn’t stop. He pushed the doors to Beelzebub’s office open and strode inside.

“Alright. Let’s get this over with. Lay out your pitch and make it good. I have my own entertainment to get back to and I’d rather not be here.” Crowley said, grinding out his cigarette in the leather back of Beelzebub’s fancy wingback chair. The other demon grit her teeth but gave a terse nod.

“We are having word that the angel Gabriel is about to go and remove your pet angel Aziraphale from his post on earth.” Beelzebub said and Crowley narrowed his eyes. Demon intelligence was spotty at best, sometimes the information was accurate, sometimes it was lies fabricated to sow confusion and discord. 

“If any of this is lies Beelzebub, I will be very cross.” He warned as the temperatures in the room rose so much that sweat dripped from the Lord of the Flies' forehead. She nodded quickly.

“The information is genuine. Gabriel thinks he has grown too soft. He wants to set up a rotation system of sorts so that no angel gets as soft as Aziraphale has.” She said quickly, rummaging around her desk for some form. She passed over a file and Crowley skimmed it to learn what little information the wiretaps they had placed on Heaven’s communication system had gathered. 

“Very well. If you learn more, report this directly to me. I will not have Heaven interfere with Earth any more than it does now.” Crowley said snapping the file shut and passing it back. The temperature in the room cooled as his anger passed and Beelzebub let out a soft sigh of relief. Crowley stalked out of the room taking the heat with him and she tempted up a cool glass of vinegar for herself. No one had expected such a shift in him when they had broken his halo but Crowley had gone from a weak low-level demon without any real classification to the second most powerful demon in hell.

“Once the angel of Creation and Cosmic fires, now the Demon of Destruction and Hellfires.” She muttered as she rearranged the paperwork on her desk so that she could be the least productive. Crowley strode out of the building and climbed back into his Bentley starting her up. He tore through the streets of Hell forcing Demons to jump out of the way or else get run over and exited Hell in a quiet alley in Soho. He wasn’t far from Aziraphale’s store and he didn’t feel like sitting alone in his apartment so he parked at a broken meter and walked the short walk to the bookstore. There weren’t any customers in the store so he pulled his sunglasses off and tucked them into his breast pocket. 

“Angel?” He called and Aziraphale popped out of the back room looking flustered

“Oh! Crowley, I didn’t expect to see you so soon. How was the home office?” Aziraphale asked nervously. Crowley frowned.

“It’s not my birthday, is it?” He asked slowly, trying to remember the date he had chosen for his birthday back in the seventeen hundreds. Aziraphale chuckled.

“No, though it is coming up in October and you can't get me to tell you what I have picked out for you this time. No, I was just about to go out. A new book that I just have to get, you understand, right?” Aziraphale said and Crowley nodded.

“I’ll just head upstairs then and wait. I’m sure you have something interesting for me to read.” He said and Aziraphale shook his head.

“Afraid not. I made a terrible mess this morning trying to cook. Haven’t cleaned it up. Why don’t you go home and check on your plants? I’ll ring you when everything is cleaned up.” Aziraphale said quickly. Crowley frowned. The air tasted faintly like sulfur.

“What are you hiding angel?” He asked, eyes narrowing and Aziraphale started to sweat. He stuttered through some sounds and Crowley felt his short temper grow shorter as his best friend tried to come up with some excuse to get rid of him.

“What are you hiding, Angel?” He hissed at Aziraphale. The Angel took a step back.

“It’s getting awfully hot in here Crowley, what in Heaven’s name are you doing?” The Angel asked and Crowley let out a soft curse, forcing himself to repress the rising heat of the hellfire that burned beneath his skin.

“I hope whatever you think I can’t see is worth it.” He snapped before stalking out of the bookstore before he accidentally set it on fire again. He was halfway to his car before Aziraphale caught up with him again.

“Please don’t be angry Crowley. It’s nothing big, I just can’t tell you yet. Like a surprise party. You understand right?” Aziraphale said and Crowley felt his anger rise.

“I doubt it is a surprise party, Angel, because you are terrible at surprises and those things usually require more than two people.” Crowley snapped. Aziraphale stumbled as Crowley turned sharply.

“Crowley, please don’t be mad. I’ll explain eventually. It’s really nothing important. Angelic matters, that’s all.” He said and Crowley felt his claws bite into his skin as he clenched his hands into tight fists. 

“I think it’s time I had a chat with my plants.” Crowley said as they reached the Bentley. He pulled the driver’s door open and slid inside. 

“Crowley.” The angel whined but the demon simply slammed the car door shut and started the engine up. He pulled away from the curb and drove away from the dejected Angel before another word could be said.

 

Crowley wasn’t sulking because Demons didn’t sulk. He was currently lounging in his large snake form across a big, black rock, through a shallow pool that had reeds and other hot jungle aquatic plants growing in it, through a sandpit with his succulents dotting through it and his tail was flicking across the cool tile of his hallway. He was mulling over his problem, namely the secret that his Angel was hiding from him. In the six thousand years they had been on Earth together Aziraphale had never kept a secret from him. Crowley had always had secrets, the biggest being his not so heavenly feelings for the Angel but there had been others. Him hiding Beethoven's last piece being another big one. He had always meant to give it to the Angel, technically it was a first edition, but he had the Second Circle Orchestra play it and the music was so beautiful he had tucked the sheet music back into a protective file and hidden the cassette tape the music was recorded on in a safety deposit box in Germany. The sound of his doorbell ringing three times in quick succession had him crack open an eye. There was only one person who would be visiting him at this time of night. Aziraphale was probably halfway through a cellar of wine and wouldn’t sober up for another few hours and the humans knew better than to bug him. He used a lazy temptation to open the door but didn’t move as the Antichrist made his way to the inner sanctum of his apartment.

“It’s rather warm in here.” Adam said and Crowley flicked his tongue at the boy.

“I tend to find that I need the heat thessse daysss.” He hissed. Adam raised an eyebrow as Crowley shifted, dragging his tail further into the room.

“You definitely are a large snake. Have you always been this big?” He asked and Crowley let out a rattling hiss.

“No, I wasss much sssmaller. Only about ssseven or eight feet. I grew when the Apocalypssse ended and Hell gave me my punissshment.” Crowley hissed. Adam frowned.

“You said you wanted to talk, what about?” He said and Crowley slithered off his rock to the path that ran around the edge of the room to transform into his human form. 

“Aziraphale is hiding something from me. I was hoping you could help me figure out what it is.” Crowley said and Adam frowned.

“Aziraphale. Hiding something. From  _ you _ . How?” He said and Crowley scowled.

“I don’t know. He just got all twitchy and squirmy and wouldn’t tell me anything. Said something about a surprise party.” Crowley said. The plants in the room started to tremble and Adam could see why. The demonic aura that was radiating from Crowley would have been terrifying if he hadn’t known Crowley wouldn’t hurt him.

“So you want me to spy on him. Figure out what he’s hiding from you and report back?” Adam said apathetically. Crowley muttered about Angels under his breath for a moment.

“Yes. If it is a surprise party though don’t ruin it. I’ve never had one and Aziraphale has always wanted to throw one. He’s never been very good at keeping secrets, that’s always been my area, but I don’t like not knowing things.” Crowley said a wistful look on his face at the thought of his angel actually pulling off the surprise party he had always wanted. Adam smirked at him.

“Does he know you love him yet or is he so oblivious that he can’t see it?” He asked and Crowley scowled at him.

“He’s oblivious and shall remain that way. The witch in the sky may not have said love should only be between a man and a woman but her precious Angels made sure that it made it into her good book.” Crowley snapped. Adam frowned.

“They sound like pricks.” He muttered and Crowley snorted.

“Gabriel was always the worst. Never understood why he thought two angels that decided to have the same bits couldn’t love each other. It’s not like we can’t put the paperwork in to get them changed and everything. Sure, things get mixed up sometimes but that’s bureaucracy for you.” Crowley snapped stalking from the room. Adam followed.

“You can…change your sex?” He asked sounding slightly mortified. Crowley let out a hum.

“Oh yes. I was a female for about a decade before deciding it was not for me. It’s not so bad, I made sure my chest size was small and it was almost like being male. Never cared much for it though which is why I’ve not bothered to change to female since I Fell. That and doing anything with paperwork in Hell takes twice as long as it would in Heaven just for the pain of it all. Red tape, that was one of my inventions and I’m quite proud of it.” Crowley said as he picked up his water pitcher and started watering his bamboo plants. He kept these in a cooler room than the rest of his plants. They were straight from China and preferred the cold. 

“Oh. Would I be able to do that? Change my sex I mean. Not that I want to, just curious.” Adam asked and Crowley snorted.

“Of course. Technically you’re half Demon Adam. Just your powers have been blocked off by your father and all.” He said moving on to water his carnivorous plants. He had several pitcher plants of unusual sizes that he fed dead mice and rats to and he was quite proud of them.

“These are terrifying.” Adam said as soon as he saw the plants. They were about the size of a shrub and preened at the rare praise. 

“Yes, they seem to have figured out how to grow properly.” Crowley said as he dropped two mice into each plant’s waiting mouths. The plants wilted slightly at the words but didn’t tremble in fear, he wasn’t mad after all. He checked the pH level of their soil and then walked Adam to the door.

“It was good to see you, Adam. You will check in on Aziraphale for me and report back as I asked, won’t you?” He said and Adam nodded.

“What do I get in return?” Adam asked and Crowley sighed.

“I’ll help you with your powers, I’m sure they are becoming more difficult to manage as you’ve gotten older. You’re eighteen now, right? An adult. Things get trickier when you become an adult.” Crowley reasoned. Adam frowned but nodded.

“I’ll come by in a few days with information. If it really is something as innocent as a surprise party I’ll tell you that you don’t have to worry and we’ll leave it at that though.” Adam said and Crowley nodded.

“Fair enough.” He said and Adam left. Crowley watched him climb into an old, beat-up car before he moved on to his office where he kept a sole pear tree that sat beside his desk. 

“Hello, lovely.” He said to the pear tree once the door was shut. He didn’t want the other plants to know how kind he was to one of their own, otherwise they would get jealous and try to hurt the pear tree. The plant preened under his greeting and spread its leaves out wide so he could see there was nothing wrong with any of them. He stroked along its leaves and gently misted it until it was content. Aziraphale had given him this plant almost three decades ago and he had taken good care of it ever since. Not because he liked pears, he absolutely hated them, but because it was a gift from Aziraphale and he couldn’t bear to see it go into the woodchipper. He carefully pruned off a few of its saggier branches, tempting them into nothing so the other plants wouldn’t know and then settled down to work through his paperwork that had piled up in the seven years that he had been away.


	4. Used to be, I had light

Crowley lit his cigarette with a small flash of hellfire and took an inhale of the sweet sin. It was a special blend of greed and adultery that Beelzebub sent up from hell to him in bulk. Perks of getting the title of a Greater Demon was that people tended to forget past transgressions like stopping an apocalypse. They also tended to get out of the way when you drive your Bentley through the narrow streets of Hell without slowing but that wasn’t really his problem. He stepped out of his car and strode up to the doors of the main office where he had been supposed to give a report four hours ago. Instead, he had taken Aziraphale out to a long lunch and then gone to see a movie by himself. Little rebellions were his modus operandi and no one but Lucifer called him out on it. Lucifer didn’t bother anymore because it wasn’t worth the fight. 

It turned out, being one of the most powerful angels in Heaven before the Fall translated to being one of the most powerful demons in Hell. Lucifer might be the king of Hell but Crowley would give him a run for his money if he so desired and the king knew it. 

“Beelzebub is waiting for you.” An imp said quickly as Crowley strode by. Crowley grunted and flicked some ash at it but didn’t stop. He pushed the doors to Beelzebub’s office open and strode inside.

“Alright. Let’s get this over with. Lay out your pitch and make it good. I have my own entertainment to get back to and I’d rather not be here.” Crowley said, grinding out his cigarette in the leather back of Beelzebub’s fancy wingback chair. The other demon grit her teeth but gave a terse nod.

“We are having word that the angel Gabriel is about to go and remove your pet angel Aziraphale from his post on earth.” Beelzebub said and Crowley narrowed his eyes. Demon intelligence was spotty at best, sometimes the information was accurate, sometimes it was lies fabricated to sow confusion and discord. 

“If any of this is lies Beelzebub, I will be very cross.” He warned as the temperatures in the room rose so much that sweat dripped from the Lord of the Flies' forehead. She nodded quickly.

“The information is genuine. Gabriel thinks he has grown too soft. He wants to set up a rotation system of sorts so that no angel gets as soft as Aziraphale has.” She said quickly, rummaging around her desk for some form. She passed over a file and Crowley skimmed it to learn what little information the wiretaps they had placed on Heaven’s communication system had gathered. 

“Very well. If you learn more, report this directly to me. I will not have Heaven interfere with Earth any more than it does now.” Crowley said snapping the file shut and passing it back. The temperature in the room cooled as his anger passed and Beelzebub let out a soft sigh of relief. Crowley stalked out of the room taking the heat with him and she tempted up a cool glass of vinegar for herself. No one had expected such a shift in him when they had broken his halo but Crowley had gone from a weak low-level demon without any real classification to the second most powerful demon in hell.

“Once the angel of Creation and Cosmic fires, now the Demon of Destruction and Hellfires.” She muttered as she rearranged the paperwork on her desk so that she could be the least productive. Crowley strode out of the building and climbed back into his Bentley starting her up. He tore through the streets of Hell forcing Demons to jump out of the way or else get run over and exited Hell in a quiet alley in Soho. He wasn’t far from Aziraphale’s store and he didn’t feel like sitting alone in his apartment so he parked at a broken meter and walked the short walk to the bookstore. There weren’t any customers in the store so he pulled his sunglasses off and tucked them into his breast pocket. 

“Angel?” He called and Aziraphale popped out of the back room looking flustered

“Oh! Crowley, I didn’t expect to see you so soon. How was the home office?” Aziraphale asked nervously. Crowley frowned.

“It’s not my birthday, is it?” He asked slowly, trying to remember the date he had chosen for his birthday back in the seventeen hundreds. Aziraphale chuckled.

“No, though it is coming up in October and you can't get me to tell you what I have picked out for you this time. No, I was just about to go out. A new book that I just have to get, you understand, right?” Aziraphale said and Crowley nodded.

“I’ll just head upstairs then and wait. I’m sure you have something interesting for me to read.” He said and Aziraphale shook his head.

“Afraid not. I made a terrible mess this morning trying to cook. Haven’t cleaned it up. Why don’t you go home and check on your plants? I’ll ring you when everything is cleaned up.” Aziraphale said quickly. Crowley frowned. The air tasted faintly like sulfur.

“What are you hiding angel?” He asked, eyes narrowing and Aziraphale started to sweat. He stuttered through some sounds and Crowley felt his short temper grow shorter as his best friend tried to come up with some excuse to get rid of him.

“What are you hiding, Angel?” He hissed at Aziraphale. The Angel took a step back.

“It’s getting awfully hot in here Crowley, what in Heaven’s name are you doing?” The Angel asked and Crowley let out a soft curse, forcing himself to repress the rising heat of the hellfire that burned beneath his skin.

“I hope whatever you think I can’t see is worth it.” He snapped before stalking out of the bookstore before he accidentally set it on fire again. He was halfway to his car before Aziraphale caught up with him again.

“Please don’t be angry Crowley. It’s nothing big, I just can’t tell you yet. Like a surprise party. You understand right?” Aziraphale said and Crowley felt his anger rise.

“I doubt it is a surprise party, Angel, because you are terrible at surprises and those things usually require more than two people.” Crowley snapped. Aziraphale stumbled as Crowley turned sharply.

“Crowley, please don’t be mad. I’ll explain eventually. It’s really nothing important. Angelic matters, that’s all.” He said and Crowley felt his claws bite into his skin as he clenched his hands into tight fists. 

“I think it’s time I had a chat with my plants.” Crowley said as they reached the Bentley. He pulled the driver’s door open and slid inside. 

“Crowley.” The angel whined but the demon simply slammed the car door shut and started the engine up. He pulled away from the curb and drove away from the dejected Angel before another word could be said.

 

Crowley wasn’t sulking because Demons didn’t sulk. He was currently lounging in his large snake form across a big, black rock, through a shallow pool that had reeds and other hot jungle aquatic plants growing in it, through a sandpit with his succulents dotting through it and his tail was flicking across the cool tile of his hallway. He was mulling over his problem, namely the secret that his Angel was hiding from him. In the six thousand years they had been on Earth together Aziraphale had never kept a secret from him. Crowley had always had secrets, the biggest being his not so heavenly feelings for the Angel but there had been others. Him hiding Beethoven's last piece being another big one. He had always meant to give it to the Angel, technically it was a first edition, but he had the Second Circle Orchestra play it and the music was so beautiful he had tucked the sheet music back into a protective file and hidden the cassette tape the music was recorded on in a safety deposit box in Germany. The sound of his doorbell ringing three times in quick succession had him crack open an eye. There was only one person who would be visiting him at this time of night. Aziraphale was probably halfway through a cellar of wine and wouldn’t sober up for another few hours and the humans knew better than to bug him. He used a lazy temptation to open the door but didn’t move as the Antichrist made his way to the inner sanctum of his apartment.

“It’s rather warm in here.” Adam said and Crowley flicked his tongue at the boy.

“I tend to find that I need the heat thessse daysss.” He hissed. Adam raised an eyebrow as Crowley shifted, dragging his tail further into the room.

“You definitely are a large snake. Have you always been this big?” He asked and Crowley let out a rattling hiss.

“No, I wasss much sssmaller. Only about ssseven or eight feet. I grew when the Apocalypssse ended and Hell gave me my punissshment.” Crowley hissed. Adam frowned.

“You said you wanted to talk, what about?” He said and Crowley slithered off his rock to the path that ran around the edge of the room to transform into his human form. 

“Aziraphale is hiding something from me. I was hoping you could help me figure out what it is.” Crowley said and Adam frowned.

“Aziraphale. Hiding something. From  _ you _ . How?” He said and Crowley scowled.

“I don’t know. He just got all twitchy and squirmy and wouldn’t tell me anything. Said something about a surprise party.” Crowley said. The plants in the room started to tremble and Adam could see why. The demonic aura that was radiating from Crowley would have been terrifying if he hadn’t known Crowley wouldn’t hurt him.

“So you want me to spy on him. Figure out what he’s hiding from you and report back?” Adam said apathetically. Crowley muttered about Angels under his breath for a moment.

“Yes. If it is a surprise party though don’t ruin it. I’ve never had one and Aziraphale has always wanted to throw one. He’s never been very good at keeping secrets, that’s always been my area, but I don’t like not knowing things.” Crowley said a wistful look on his face at the thought of his angel actually pulling off the surprise party he had always wanted. Adam smirked at him.

“Does he know you love him yet or is he so oblivious that he can’t see it?” He asked and Crowley scowled at him.

“He’s oblivious and shall remain that way. The witch in the sky may not have said love should only be between a man and a woman but her precious Angels made sure that it made it into her good book.” Crowley snapped. Adam frowned.

“They sound like pricks.” He muttered and Crowley snorted.

“Gabriel was always the worst. Never understood why he thought two angels that decided to have the same bits couldn’t love each other. It’s not like we can’t put the paperwork in to get them changed and everything. Sure, things get mixed up sometimes but that’s bureaucracy for you.” Crowley snapped stalking from the room. Adam followed.

“You can…change your sex?” He asked sounding slightly mortified. Crowley let out a hum.

“Oh yes. I was a female for about a decade before deciding it was not for me. It’s not so bad, I made sure my chest size was small and it was almost like being male. Never cared much for it though which is why I’ve not bothered to change to female since I Fell. That and doing anything with paperwork in Hell takes twice as long as it would in Heaven just for the pain of it all. Red tape, that was one of my inventions and I’m quite proud of it.” Crowley said as he picked up his water pitcher and started watering his bamboo plants. He kept these in a cooler room than the rest of his plants. They were straight from China and preferred the cold. 

“Oh. Would I be able to do that? Change my sex I mean. Not that I want to, just curious.” Adam asked and Crowley snorted.

“Of course. Technically you’re half Demon Adam. Just your powers have been blocked off by your father and all.” He said moving on to water his carnivorous plants. He had several pitcher plants of unusual sizes that he fed dead mice and rats to and he was quite proud of them.

“These are terrifying.” Adam said as soon as he saw the plants. They were about the size of a shrub and preened at the rare praise. 

“Yes, they seem to have figured out how to grow properly.” Crowley said as he dropped two mice into each plant’s waiting mouths. The plants wilted slightly at the words but didn’t tremble in fear, he wasn’t mad after all. He checked the pH level of their soil and then walked Adam to the door.

“It was good to see you, Adam. You will check in on Aziraphale for me and report back as I asked, won’t you?” He said and Adam nodded.

“What do I get in return?” Adam asked and Crowley sighed.

“I’ll help you with your powers, I’m sure they are becoming more difficult to manage as you’ve gotten older. You’re eighteen now, right? An adult. Things get trickier when you become an adult.” Crowley reasoned. Adam frowned but nodded.

“I’ll come by in a few days with information. If it really is something as innocent as a surprise party I’ll tell you that you don’t have to worry and we’ll leave it at that though.” Adam said and Crowley nodded.

“Fair enough.” He said and Adam left. Crowley watched him climb into an old, beat-up car before he moved on to his office where he kept a sole pear tree that sat beside his desk. 

“Hello, lovely.” He said to the pear tree once the door was shut. He didn’t want the other plants to know how kind he was to one of their own, otherwise they would get jealous and try to hurt the pear tree. The plant preened under his greeting and spread its leaves out wide so he could see there was nothing wrong with any of them. He stroked along its leaves and gently misted it until it was content. Aziraphale had given him this plant almost three decades ago and he had taken good care of it ever since. Not because he liked pears, he absolutely hated them, but because it was a gift from Aziraphale and he couldn’t bear to see it go into the woodchipper. He carefully pruned off a few of its saggier branches, tempting them into nothing so the other plants wouldn’t know and then settled down to work through his paperwork that had piled up in the seven years that he had been away.

 

##  Chapter Four - Used to Be, I Had Light

###  Ribcage - Andy Black

Aziraphale paced between the rows of his books, wringing his hands. Anathema and Newton had kicked him out of the apartment over the store hours ago due to his pacing and his nervous way of shuffling the papers they were working on. Piecing together the events leading up to Crowley killing Gabriel was proving hard as the two of them had burned the rest of the predictions and prophecies. A knock on the door had him pausing. It was close to midnight which was rather late for any visitors but it could be Crowley coming to apologize for his part in the argument that afternoon. Then again, Crowley never really apologized for anything, not with words at least. He would have a bottle of expensive wine or some other alcohol for them to drink and then they would pretend he had apologized. He was pulled from his thoughts as the person at the door knocked again and he sprung into action, hurrying towards the door.

“Who’s there?” He called, and the voice that answered wasn’t the one he had expected.

“It’s Adam, Adam Young.” Aziraphale rushed to unlock the door and open it for the young man who seemed to have shot up like a weed in the past seven years.

“Ah, Adam, how lovely to see you. Come in, come in. How have you been? Where’s Dog?” Aziraphale said ushering the man in. Adam entered the shop with an amused look on his face.

“It’s been fine. I’m in Uni so Dog had to go back to Hell until I get to a place where I can keep him again. I visit him when I can but I know he misses me a lot. You seem to have gotten more books.” The human said and Aziraphale chuckled. He had attended Adam’s graduation from secondary school and had brought him back to the bookstore to give him a tour. He wanted to give him a break from his extremely overbearing father who thought he should go into accounting instead of Computer Science like Adam wanted to. 

“Oh yes. There was an antique bookstore in Bayswater that closed and I bought all the books that were there, oh, maybe five months ago. Quite a few first editions there.” He said happily. Adam nodded running his fingers over some of the spines.

“Crowley was in an…interesting mood when I arrived at his apartment earlier. Seems to think you’re keeping secrets.” Adam said and Aziraphale huffed.

“I hate keeping things from him. I’m terrible at it but Newton said we couldn’t tell him and Anathema promised me that she would give me the only remaining copy of Agnes Nutter’s prophecies and while they aren’t going to happen anymore just having a book with them recorded is worth keeping my mouth shut for a while. Still, I feel bad. Crowley is my closest friend, he doesn’t deserve his lots in the ineffable plan.” He said, his voice coming very close to a whine. Adam raised an eyebrow and Aziraphale was about to spill everything when Anathema came down the stairs.

“Who are you talking to Aziraphale?” She snapped. She froze when she saw Adam standing there.

“Why did you let him into the shop?” She snapped and Aziraphale spluttered.

“Adam is a friend. He can be trusted!” He said. She scowled at him.

“We aren’t telling anyone.” She snapped before turning to Adam and forcing her expression into something more pleasant, “Sorry Adam but the fewer people who know what’s going on the better. Why don’t you head back home and read the magazines I sent you?” She added. It was Adam’s turn to scowl.

“I’m not eleven anymore. You don’t need to protect me from anything, I’m not a child. Tell me what’s going on.” He demanded and Aziraphale felt a small burst of demonic power from the young man. He quickly countered it and Adam’s scowl grew.

“I think it’s time you left.” Anathema said sharply and Adam stalked out the door, slamming it behind himself. 

“That didn’t go well.” The Angel said softly. Anathema took in a sharp breath.

“How much do you want to bet he’s headed to tell Crowley everything that just happened?” She said and Aziraphale gave a quick shake of his head.

“That is, as you Americans would say, “a sucker’s bet”.” He said, locking the door with a quick Miracle and following her up to the apartment.

 

It had been several hours and was close to three in the morning when Crowley heard his doorbell ring again. He set his half-dry pen aside and went to meet the young man at the door which turned out to be a good thing because the Half-Demon was in a sour mood. 

“What have you learned?” Crowley asked as Adam stalked into the immaculate dining room that Crowley never used but liked to keep set for thirteen people.

“He’s hiding something. I almost got him to tell me but Anathema was there and said I wasn’t allowed to know. Treated me like I was still a child.” Adam said, scowling. “They bribed him so that he wouldn’t tell you though. He’s not happy with keeping whatever it is a secret but they promised him some first edition and he’s keeping it from you for a couple of months in return.” Crowley frowned.

“If Anathema is involved, I’m sure it’s something serious. She wouldn’t hop across the pond for this long with no reason. But why keep it from me?” Crowley mused. He was feeling much less irritated now that he had had some time to think and knew that Aziraphale was being bribed into silence. He knew his Angel well enough to know that a rare first edition would be enough to get him to fall, if the right Demon had it. Crowley was wise enough to have those books fall into the Angel’s hands in circumventive ways that couldn’t be traced back to him and make sure they stayed there. 

“You knew Anathema was here?” Adam asked and Crowley shrugged, switching around the utensils’ placements on a few of the place settings so that none of them matched.

“I knew she was in the country two weeks ago. I had thought she had left because there was no need for her to be here to my knowledge. It seems that was not the case. Newton was probably in the shop as well, wasn’t he?” Crowley said. Adam flopped into one of the throne-like chairs.

“So what are we going to do?” He asked and Crowley shot him a smirk.

“For now? Nothing. Let them think we’ve dropped it. They will get sloppy, slip up and then we’ll get some answers. If there’s anything about my Angel that I can count on it’s that he doesn’t know how to keep secrets. It’s why the folks upstairs never tell him anything until last minute.” He said and Adam grinned.

“Sounds wicked.” He said.

 

Aziraphale sighed and dialed the familiar number to Crowley’s favorite phone. He hoped that Crowley wasn’t sulking anymore but he doubted that was the case. It was seven thirteen in the morning which was a good time to call, it was a perfect balance between heavenly and hellish. The phone rang twice before Crowley answered.

“Hello, Angel.” Crowley said sounding tired.

“Oh, hello Crowley. I was wondering if you would like to get some dinner today. There’s a lovely little restaurant down on St. Martin’s Lane that I have wanted to try and I was hoping to get some company.” He said and there was a long pause on the other end of the line. 

“Of course, Angel. I’ll come and pick you up around seven.” Crowley answered eventually. Aziraphale chuckled.

“Sounds like a date as the humans would say. Have a good day!” He said before hanging up. A smile grew across his face as he bounced down to the shop to open up. Even a little mousy girl trying to buy an old eighteen hundred edition of the bible that he loved couldn’t bring his bright spirits down. When he heard the familiar sound of the Bentley pull up he straightened his bowtie and closed up his shop with a quick miracle. Crowley looked nice but then again, Crowley always looked nice, in his opinion, no matter what he was wearing. 

“We have to make this dinner quick. I have a function in Hell that I’m going to be late to.” Crowley said lighting up a cigarette that smelt sickeningly sweet. 

“What kind of function?” Aziraphale asked and Crowley sighed, exhaling a slither of smoke out the window.

“Some fancy party for a pagan holiday that isn’t celebrated on Earth anymore. We throw a ball or a gala for the big ones every once and awhile. Just so they aren’t forgotten by the damned who worshipped them. Remind them why they’re suffering and all that.” Crowley explained waving the cigarette around. He drove towards the restaurant at a breakneck speed, only needing a few directions from Aziraphale. They parked and Crowley stepped out of the car. Aziraphale pushed back the overwhelming urge to take Crowley by the arm as if Crowley was some damsel in a movie and led the way towards the restaurant. He used a small miracle to get them a reservation and they found themselves seated in a quiet spot under a fake olive tree. Crowley lounged comfortably in his chair as Aziraphale ate his pasta and smoked his cigarette as he drank his wine.

“Why do you smoke now? You didn’t before.” Aziraphale asked before he could stop himself. Crowley looked at the cigarette dangling between his fingers.

“It’s relaxing. Hell knows I need that with the amount of heat bubbling beneath my skin.” He said taking another drag of his cigarette. Aziraphale frowned at that but waited until he was eating his dessert to stop the conversation they were having about who had actually brought about the invention of the rubber duck and whether it as a good or bad thing to bring up the cigarette conversation again.

“What do you mean about having heat under your skin Crowley?” He asked. Crowley frowned at him for a moment before taking a sip of his coffee and giving Aziraphale a tight smile.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about, Angel. Just a tightness of the skin sometimes.” Crowley said. Aziraphale was not stupid and he believed his friend was only half telling him the truth. It  probably  _ was _ a tightness of the skin sometimes but it was also something that he should worry about if only for Crowley’s sake. He dropped the topic for the rest of the evening, making a note to bring it up to Anathema when he returned to the bookshop that night. Crowley seemed to relax as the night went on and when he dropped the Angel off at the bookstore, he didn’t even ask about the lights being on in the apartment upstairs. He simply said his goodnights and drove off like a bat out of hell. 

 

Crowley stood quietly as Adam shifted the ball of hellfire between his two open palms. It was late and the lesson was growing long. 

“Very good, Adam. You have come quite far in the few lessons I’ve given you.” He drawled. Adam shrugged.

“I experiment at my dorm. And the power never really left. I’ve always been able to shift reality.” Adam admitted. Crowley shook his head.

“Shifting reality is like swatting a fly with a fly swatter. Basic Temptation magic. Even low level Demons can do basic reality shifting. It’s how we go about without being detected. I’m even doing it now so you can’t see my wings.” Crowley told him. “Controlling hellfire is like trying to tame a beast. This one listens better because I’m in the room with you, supervising, and we’ll keep it that way for now. But eventually you’ll have to gather your own spark, train it to listen to you and develop a connection. It’s more intimate than your connection with Dog because the Hellfire becomes a part of your soul.” Crowley explained. Adam frowned.

“Is that why you run so hot now? Because you’re the Demon of Hell’s Fire or something?” He asked and Crowley chuckled darkly.

“I suppose you could say that. It’s true, I do have a unique bond with the fires of Hell. It has to do with who I was before I Fell.” Crowley said waving off the idea.

“Who were you before?” Adam asked, his curiosity piqued. 

“It doesn’t matter, Adam. I can never be  _ him _ again.” Crowley said with a sigh. Adam banished the Hellfire and the room was bathed in near complete darkness.

“What happened? You don’t seem like the bad sort Crowley. Surely anyone who puts up with Aziraphale for as long as you have, has to have at least  _ some _ angelic qualities. Why did you follow my father?” Adam asked and Crowley grit his teeth. He didn’t want to have this discussion, didn’t want to drag up old memories of a past that was better left dead.

“We are not discussing this Adam! Summon the Hellfire again. We will work on shaping it now.” He said sharply. Adam crossed his arms over his chest.

“Tell me what you did that was so bad that you were cast out of Heaven! What are you so ashamed of that you won’t even speak of it?” Adam demanded and Crowley felt the young Half-Demon’s magic wash over him. He cast it off as if it was nothing more than an errant newspaper that had blown in his face on a gusty day.

“Drop it, Adam, my past is none of your concern!” He growled at Adam, the gaze of his slitted eyes boring into the boy as he remained obstinate.

“You are a coward. Maybe that’s why God cast you out.” Adam snapped and Crowley’s anger blossomed. The room’s temperature rose to unbearable heats and blisters broke out on the Half-Demon’s skin.

“You know nothing of what you speak. How dare you assume otherwise! My Halo remained almost intact for  _ millennia _ . I was not cast out like the others. It was your father who grabbed my wrist as he fell and dragged me with him. I  was never truly a demon until they broke my Halo for stopping the apocalypse.” He roared in a voice that echoed in the room. Adam’s eyes were wide with fear and his skin was pale under the red flush of the heat. It wasn’t until his eyes rolled back in his head that Crowley realized he had gone too far and pulled the temperature back to a more moderate degree. He took several calming breaths, knowing his skin would still be hot enough to sear the boy’s if he touched him. Using several Temptations, he got the young Half-Demon into the bed of the spare room and made sure there was a pitcher of water on the bedside table for him when he woke. 

“Forgive me, Adam.” He said slowly before leaving the room and moving to his own bedroom to prepare for the night.


	5. A/N

Hey guys!

So, I know I haven't updated this in a while and I'm sorry about that. There will be more chapters, I'm not abandoning this fic. I'm writing to you to invite you to my discord chatroom, Ineffable Husbands where we can gush over the fandom and meet other fans. Come join me, you can find a link on my tumblr, adaydreamingdream.

Hope to see you there!

ADayDreamingDream

 

10/29/19 edit - this story is now unfinished and discontinued.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudo if you liked it to let me know. Bookmark for easy access. Subscribe to get updates, and comment to tell me what you think


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